Holiday card etiquette: who to send to, what to write and when to mail

The short answer: when to send Christmas cards: order cards and stamps in mid to late November, mail long-distance and military cards first, and mail the rest in early to mid-December. Holiday cards are optional.

• Early to mid-November: update your address list
• Late November to early December: address envelopes in short sessions
• Missed it? Send New Year cards from late December to mid-January
• Save money: set a card budget, trim the list and mix paper and digital
• Next step: Plan it with the Christmas Budget & Gift Planner ($4.99).

Holiday cards are one of the sweetest traditions of the season. They're also one of the easiest to overthink. Do you have to send one back if someone sent you one? Whose name goes first? And when to send Christmas cards: is it too late if it's already December 20?

Here's the reassuring part: modern holiday card etiquette is much more relaxed than most of us fear. This guide walks through the common questions, from building your list to signing for a busy household, with a few budget tips along the way.

The golden rule: holiday cards are optional

Let's start with the most freeing fact. According to the etiquette experts at the Emily Post Institute, holiday cards are optional. Sending cards last year doesn't mean you're required to send them this year, and cards don't have to be reciprocal. You might receive more than you send, or send more than you receive, and Emily Post says both are okay.

So if this is the year you skip cards, send a few, or switch to a New Year greeting, you're not breaking any rules. Choose what fits your time, budget and energy.

Who should be on your holiday card list?

There's no required list. Most families include some mix of:

• Close family and extended family
• Friends near and far
• Neighbors
• Your kids' teachers, coaches or caregivers
• Older relatives and family friends who may especially enjoy mail
• Colleagues or business contacts, if that's customary in your workplace

Trimming a list that's grown too long

If your list has gotten long, it's fine to trim it. A few questions can help:

• Have we been in touch with this person in the last year or two?
• Would they notice or care if a card didn't come?
• Would a text, call or email mean just as much?

What if someone sends you a card and they're not on your list?

Emily Post suggests that if you have extra cards, you can send one out, or simply add that person to your list for next year. Either way, there's nothing to feel guilty about.

Keeping addresses in one place makes all of this easier. Our Christmas card list guide shows you how to set one up, and the Christmas Budget & Gift Planner includes a card list page so you can track who you sent to and who sent to you.

When to send holiday cards

Emily Post notes that cards are usually sent anytime from Thanksgiving until a couple of weeks into the New Year. That gives you more breathing room than you might think.

Mailing deadlines

If you want cards to arrive before Christmas, check the U.S. Postal Service's holiday shipping dates, which list the recommended send-by dates for the season. For 2026, USPS recommends mailing First-Class Mail by Thursday, Dec. 17, for delivery before Christmas within the lower 48 states. Military and international addresses usually need extra time, so plan those first.

These are USPS recommended dates for delivery before December 25, so a few extra days of cushion never hurts. Local post office acceptance times can change them.

The New Year card option

Running behind? A New Year card is a lovely solution. Emily Post points out that a New Year greeting avoids the season's religious associations, which some families prefer, and it helps spread out a very busy month. It's also a great choice if you want to share a family photo from the holidays themselves.

A simple card timeline

• Early to mid-November: Update your address list and decide on cards or photo cards.
• Mid to late November: Order or buy cards and stamps.
• Late November to early December: Address envelopes in short sessions, and mail long-distance and military cards first.
• Early to mid-December: Mail the rest, checking the USPS dates.
• Late December to mid-January: Send New Year cards if that's your plan.

Our Christmas planning checklist places cards alongside gifts, baking and decorating so nothing piles up in one week.

Choosing an inclusive greeting

Not everyone on your list may celebrate the same holidays you do. Emily Post's guidance is to be thoughtful:

• For friends who celebrate a different holiday, consider a card for their holiday or a handwritten note wishing them well in their own celebration.
• For people you don't know well, such as business contacts, a broader message like "Season's Greetings" or "Happy New Year" works well.
• For close friends and family who share your traditions, send whatever card feels most like you.

Greeting examples

These are examples you can borrow or adapt:

• "Wishing you a season full of warmth and a new year full of good things."
• "Merry Christmas from our house to yours!"
• "Season's greetings and best wishes for the year ahead."
• "Thinking of you this holiday season and hoping we see you soon."
• "Happy New Year! Grateful for you, today and always."

How to sign a holiday card for your family

Signing cards can raise surprisingly tricky questions. Here's what Emily Post says, and some practical tips.

Whose name goes first?

Emily Post says it does not matter what order you put the names in. Couples don't need to follow a "ladies first" or "gentlemen first" rule. Many families list adults first and kids after, but even that isn't required.

Can you include pets?

Yes. Emily Post specifically says pets can be added, too.

Do printed cards need a signature?

Emily Post says it's okay to send printed photo cards as they are. For store-bought cards without a personal greeting, signing them adds a nice personal touch.

Signing examples for different families

These are examples, so use what fits your household:

• "Love, The Johnsons"
• "With love from Dana, Marcus, Ava and Leo"
• "Warmly, Keisha and the kids"
• "Best wishes from all of us (and Biscuit, too)"

Addressing envelopes for a family

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For handwritten addresses and printed cards, Paper Mate InkJoy gel pens and Neenah 65 lb white cardstock are optional supplies. Check your printer's paper-weight limits before using cardstock.

When you address a card to a whole family, "The Johnson Family" is always clear and friendly. If you write a plural last name, don't use an apostrophe: "The Johnsons," not "The Johnson's." For last names ending in s, x, z, ch or sh, add "es," as in "The Davises" or "The Lynches." When you're not sure, "The Davis Family" avoids the question entirely.

Holiday newsletters: yes or no?

A holiday letter can be a cherished tradition, especially for far-flung relatives. Emily Post says including a personal newsletter is fine, with two cautions:

1. Share updates without bragging. Focus on what you're grateful for and what you've enjoyed, not achievements and purchases.
2. Skip the politics. The point of the card is to send good wishes.

Tips for a newsletter people will actually read

• Keep it to one page.
• Use short paragraphs or a quick update for each family member.
• Add a photo or two.
• End with a warm wish for the reader, not just news about you. Our free Christmas letter template fits all of this on one page. For formal or friendly letters the rest of the year, use our letter template.

Holiday cards in hard years

Not every season is merry. If your family has had a loss, a move, a divorce or another difficult change, you can skip cards, send a simple message, or wait until the New Year. A short note such as "Thinking of you and wishing you peace this season" is always appropriate.

If you're sending a card to someone who is grieving, a gentle, personal note matters more than a cheerful printed message. Emily Post also has a broader guide to holiday etiquette if you're navigating other tricky moments this season.

Are digital holiday cards okay?

Yes. Emily Post says emailing holiday greetings is fine, while noting that paper cards sent through the mail are more traditional and are typically favored at this time of year. A good middle ground is to mail paper cards to the people who'd treasure them most, like grandparents and older relatives, and send digital cards to everyone else.

How to save money on holiday cards

Cards, photos and postage can add up. Here are some ways to keep the cost in check:

• Set a card budget first. Make it a line in your holiday budget. The Holiday Budget Calculator can help you find the number, and you can add a cards line to the budget page in the Free Holiday Budget Kit.
• Trim the list. Fewer cards means fewer stamps.
• Mix paper and digital. Mail to those who'll appreciate paper and email the rest.
• Consider postcards. A photo postcard can be a simple alternative to a card and envelope. Compare current USPS postage before you decide.
• Buy boxed cards after the holidays for next year, when seasonal items are often marked down.
• Make cards with the kids. Homemade cards can double as a family activity on a cold afternoon.

For more ways to keep the season affordable, see our guides to the holiday budget and Christmas on a tight budget.

Your next step

Open a fresh card list tonight and add every address you have. Then decide whether this is a Christmas card year or a New Year card year. Either way, the Christmas Budget & Gift Planner keeps your card list, gift list and budget together, so your good wishes go out without the stress.

See also: cheap family Christmas traditions, host Christmas dinner on a budget and Christmas budget by income.